Of Love and Learning
by Sailor Aurora Helios
Summary: Shonen Ai. Paring is obvious but could ruin plot. One of the pilots is caught by Oz(not who you would assume) Something happens to that pilot that changes his life and the lives of his friends. Meanwhile one of the pilots is figuring out what his hear is
1. Prologue

**Of Love and Learning**

**By: Sailor Aurora Helios**

~Author Notes~

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I really really wish I did but I don't. If I did this fic wouldn't even exist 'cause I wouldn't be sitting here writing fics....So dun sue me......cause all I got are some crumbs from a waffle, rice cakes, un-popped popcorn seeds, and a shrine to Heero and if you touch it I'll destroy you!

Kate: Ok I dunno where I got the idea for this fic. It just came to me......

Li: -_-' Hmph...Every time you like a fic it just comes to you. I dun get any credit. 

Kate: Be quiet Li! Anyways, I dunno how this is gonna turn out. I think it's gonna go shonen ai. This is what I really looks like. And I'm not telling who the pairing is although it's obvious but...it ruins the plot!!!! Well on with the fic. 

Kate: Also this sorta takes place before mariemaya but the war is still going on.....but wufei is working for the preventors

Also.....there might be rape.....i doubt it but it's a possibility........and if I do decide on it being definate..i won't exactly tell you cause...uhm...that'll ruin the plot And there will be other stuff but..............................I CAN'T tell you because it will ruin the plot!!! I'm sorry! 

~~~~~

**Prologue**

          The breeze was beginning to pick up. A boy about the age of fifteen stared out at the ocean below him. The waves were beginning to get choppy.  As the waves picked up they began crashing down faster, lining the ocean with white lines from the white water. The breeze picked up and turned into strong wind.  The boy's long chestnut brown braid swayed in the wind. The boy turned his violet eyes towards the forest. The trees swayed fiercely and the older ones moaned. His eyes didn't hold the cheery glow they usually did. Today was different, today they were filled with worry and sadness. It had been a month since he last stood at this exact spot. The weather was identical to what it was now. 

_          Two boys stood on the edge of a cliff a storm was heading there way. The braided boy seemed upset. The other boy, with milk-chocolate brown hair just stared ahead. His face remained emotionless_

_          "Heero! Let me come with you. How come all of a sudden you've decided to go alone."  A boy asked his long braid flying in the wind._

_          "Duo you can't come. This is a one person mission." Heero, the milk-chocolate haired boy said. _

_          "What if you get caught?? What if you get **hurt**???" Duo, the braided boy asked concern growing in his voice._

_          "I won't get caught, and if I get hurt. Then I get hurt...." Heero said turning and walking towards Wing Zero. Duo stared as a single tear fell down his cheek. He ran and stood in front of Heero._

_          "Promise me you come back Heero., promise me!" Duo pleaded. _

_          "Promise you won't get hurt!"  He continued. Heero stared at the boy as the rain started pouring down. Duo was completely serious. Duo wet bangs laid matted on his forehead. Heero sighed and nodded. Duo stepped aside and Heero climbed into Wing Zero's cockpit._

          Duo stood there and whispered,

          "Where are you Heero?" It had been two weeks since they last contacted Heero, they haven't been able to contact him since. Everyone had noticed how Duo had lost his lively mood and often sat staring out the window.  Quatre walked over to the window and looked out at the steep cliff towards the ocean. He saw Duo standing there in the rain. He grabbed a large umbrella and walked out. Duo was lost in thought as his violet eyes scanned the area around him. Quatre held out the umbrella over Duo. Duo snapped back into reality as he felt the rain stop falling on to his face. He never even glanced at Quatre just stared ahead. 

          "Don't worry Duo. He'll come back." Quatre whispered. 

          "Come inside before you get a cold or pneumonia or something." Quatre said. Duo turned and walked inside with Quatre. 


	2. Memories Returned

**Of Love and Learning**

**By: Sailor Aurora Helios**

**Chapter 1**

**Memories Returned.**

          Meanwhile in an Oz base. Heero lay in the back corner of a small cell. The darkness throbbed around him. The door was yanked open and the tiny cell was flooded with light. Heero hissed at the light as his eyes watered and adjusted. The guard's lips cracked into an evil grin. 

          "Get up boy!" He growled. Heero didn't move, he couldn't move.

          "I said to get up!" He growled. Heero just glared. 

          "Fine, then have it your way!" He laughed and walked in. He kicked Heero in the stomach. The guard kicked him out of the corner and against the opposite wall. Heero bit his lip.

          "Hmm, you like this boy?" The guard laughed and picked up the frail boy's body and threw him with all his might at the wall. Heero tried as hard as he possibly could to hold in his scream of pain. He picked up Heero's body and punted it back in a corner. 

          "You make a good football boy!" The guard laughed and walked out slamming the door shut. Heero finally let go and his sobs escaped him, he'd been holding it back for two weeks and he couldn't hold it any longer. This was the first time he refused to be tortured for information. He couldn't stand being tossed around like a rag-doll. It brought back memories he long shut away in the depths of his mind.

          "Why am I still alive. Any one else would have been dead after two or three days of this." Heero thought. That's when something flashed bake to him. 

          _"Promise me you come back Heero, promise me!" Duo pleaded. _

_          "Promise you won't get hurt!"  He continued. Heero stared at Duo. He was dead serious. Heero finally nodded and climbed in to Wing Zero. _

          "That's why, that silly little promise is keeping me alive" Heero muttered in his thoughts. 

          "I still can't believe I was caught." Heero thought. 

          _Heero sat in an Oz uniform typing furiously at the main computer. A small camera was watching him though he didn't notice. An Oz officer stood in the shadows. 'So I'm the lucky officer that gets to finally catch Heero Yuy' The Oz officer crept through the shadows towards Heero. All the lights were off making this capture somewhat easier. He stayed at a range where he was close enough but he didn't have a reflection on the computer screen. Heero smiled finally completing his mission. He turned his chair and stood. He didn't see the officer until it was too late. The officer slammed his fist in to his face to catch him off guard then quickly slammed his fist in to his gut causing Heero to grab his stomach gasping for air as he bent forward._

_          "So the amazing Heero Yuy dropped his guard in the end. So close yet so far from your goal!" The Oz officer laughed._

_          "D...damn you..." Heero gasped and passed out._

"He was right. I had completed my mission and I thought all I had to do now was get out. But I dropped my guard and he caught me." Heero sighed. A couple of days passed until the guard came back. Heero had regained some strength and was able to walk. He reluctantly stood and followed the guard. Heero stood on a cement block. He eyed it already guessing what they were doing. His feet were chained to the block. The floor suddenly fell it was a trapped door. Below was a tank of water. Heero was surprised but luckily too a huge breath at the last second. As the cement block dragged him. He didn't move a muscle, and completely relaxed. His mind was racing. He sat stood there almost a minute passed before he completely ran out of air.  He held on as long as possible before he was about to pass out they released the chains. He shot to the surface and gasped for air, his mind was foggy. 

          "So you gonna talk?" The taller man circled the opening to the tank. He looked at the boy in disgust. The boy was covered in bruises and his cloths were almost torn to shreds. He growled and spat at the boy. Heero glared at the man, his lungs were on fire. 

          "Do what ever the heck you want you know I'm not saying anything and I never will, even if you kill me." Heero finally said. The man, Lt. Rus, growled,

          "Send him to his cell." The guard yanked Heero out of the water and shoved him in his cell. The guard suddenly whipped around and kneed him in the gut. He kicked him into the wall and punched him a couple times. Heero slid to the ground and coughed up blood. He laid there and sleep took over.  Cold sweat dripped down his face as hidden away memories returned in his dreams.

          _A woman glared down at a young boy. She slapped his face. He stiffened. She slapped him again harder this time. The boys body stiffened again his Prussian eyes were filled with fear._

_          "I thought I told you to stand perfectly still."  The woman growled. He didn't even blink._

_          "Damnit Heero!! Stand still!" The woman growled and punched him. He fell down and couldn't hold back his tears._

_          "Soldiers don't cry!" She stated flatly. The boy sniffled and couldn't take it anymore._

_          "I'm not a soldier I'm you son, mommy!!!" The boy cried._

_          "You dare talk back to me Heero!!" She screamed. Heero backed away. That's when she attacked tossing him around like a rag doll._

Heero woke suddenly crying and muttering,

          "Mommy stop, please mommy!"


	3. A Set Decision

**Of Love and Learning**

**By: Sailor Aurora Helios**

**Chapter 2**

**A Set Decision.**

          Duo sat staring out the window. Everything was quiet. Everyone including Wufei couldn't bare seeing Duo like this. Wufei finally did something.

          "Duo get up!" He shouted. Duo didn't even look at him.

          "Duo-baka!!! I'm sick and tired of seeing you moping around the house. If you did care this much about Heero you'd have faith that'd he'd come back when he completes his mission!" Wufei shouted.

          "Then why hasn't he contacted us Wufei!!! Tell me! If he was ok he would be checking in with us!" Duo shouted back.

          "Maybe he hasn't had time or it's too dangerous to contact you!" Wufei shot. Duo had considered this.

          "He would've found away..." Duo said through gritted teeth. He sat back down and stared out the window. Wufei rolled his eyes and turned and grabbed his keys from the key rack.

          "I'm going out for a little while" He muttered, opened the door and slammed it behind him.  Duo watched him drive off. He and Heero had been best friends for as long as he could remember. Why was it that now he felt different? Duo wondered.

          _A young braided boy walked to school. He met up with a couple of his friends. He looked over as another young boy entered the school grounds. He had Prussian eyes and messy chocolate brown hair. The boy went and sat curled up in a corner. Duo walked over to an apple tree and pulled down two apples. He walked to the boy and sat next to him._

_          "You like apples?" He asked. The boy looked at him with cold eyes. Duo handed the apple out towards the boy. He took it and examined it closely. Duo stared at him then bit into his apple._

_          "My names Duo what's yours?" He asked smiling._

_          "Heero." He barely whispered. _

_          "What??" Duo asked not hearing him._

_          "Heero." He said. Duo smiled as class began._

_          "Gotta go see you later Heero. Hey! Meet me here at recess ok?" Duo asked as he ran off. Heero nodded. The next day was a beautiful warm day and Heero walked to school wearing a jacket. They met up with each other and hid in the shadows of the trees. _

_          "Heero? Why you wearing a jacket isn't it hot?" Heero looked away his eyes filled with sadness._

_          "Can I trust you Duo?"  Heero asked._

_          "Uhm yeah I guess." Duo answered confused at the question._

_          "Sometimes once in a while my mommy gets really really mad and hits me hawd." He barely whispered. Duo stared in disbelief._

_          "Dose she do this a lot?" He choked because a lump grew in his throat. _

_          "No only sometimes." Heero whispered. _

_          "Do you have any friends?" Duo asked changing the subject. Heero shook his head. Duo hugged him gently._

_          "Well now you have a best friend." Duo smiled._

          A few tears ran down Duo's cheek.  Heero had been able to deal with his mother once he met Duo and he was being hit less often too. Duo's face hardened and became determined. He stood and walked upstairs to his room. He pulled on a new pair of black pants and his preacher's collar. He pulled on black boots and tied the laces. He grabbed a black baseball cap and pulled it on. He walked downstairs and ran into Quatre.

          "Where are you going, Duo?" Quatre asked.

          "I'm going to find him." Duo said.

          "And there's nothing you can do to stop me." He added glaring at Quatre. Quatre was about to say something but Duo walked passed him and head towards the hanger. He climbed into the cockpit of Death Scythe and took off towards Colony L2 X24555. Quatre sighed and watched Death Scythe take off into the sky. Duo fell asleep and awoke a couple hours later. He looked at the colony and the thought crossed him, 'How on earth am I gonna find him?'

To Be Continued…

~~~~~

YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much to those who have reviewed the prologue and Chapter One!!!! Yes I know I'm soo mean to poor Heero-Kun. I'm not sure if this fic is angsty or not…Is it angsty!?!?!? 

Anyways. Ok I know this is short but that's the way it is. I'M SORRY! Also things will get better for Hee-Chan. 

Li: *cough* after they get worse *cough*

Kate: LI YOU LITTLE PLOT SPIOLER!!!!!!!! *whacks Li*

Kate: Ok right now I have the first 4 chapters and the prologue ready to be posted. I'm going to post chapter three after I get at least 5-10 more reviews. So click the nice friendly button. And remember that the review button is your FRIEND… *smiles and walks off*

Kate: OH! Before I forget! I kinda have writers block. And it might ake me awhile to update chapter 5. I'll explain what I need some ideas for at the end of chapter four! Ok? 

Ja ne,

~Kate~


	4. Insanity

**Of Love and Learning**

**By: Sailor Aurora Helios**

**Chapter 3**

**Insanity**

~Author Notes~

This is in Quatre Point Of View. These are mostly the thoughts going through his head...

~~~~~

          I stood there on the stairs and heard a door close. Duo was dead serious, he was probably in Deathscythe by now. I could stop him, what if he goes to the colonies and Heero comes home. I ran out towards the hanger but Duo had already closed the cockpit door. I walked back inside.

          It's been a week since he left. It's so quiet. I can't take it! Wufei and Trowa always have something to do to take there minds of everything. What am I supposed to do? I can feel it inside me. The quiet is driving me insane. Obviously Duo hasn't found Heero or he'd be home by now. I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room. That stupid clock just keeps ticking. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, Tock! I need help but I have no one to ask. It's so quiet....tick tock..tick tock. Insane yes we'll all go insane from the silence. One by one each of us will go insane, first it will be me then Trowa then Wufei. Duo and Heero? Heero's been insane as long as we've known him...we just never noticed. Duo? He went insane when Heero stopped contacting us. B..but with if Duo did find Heero? What if there off at some sleezy bar not giving a shit about us. Well, they never did care about us in the first place. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. I know what I'll do! I go to that stupid colony, find Heero and kill him. Yes! I must kill him! Then Duo will find Heero dead and come stop the quiet. Yes! Duo will come and save us from insanity! But, I must kill Heero for him to do it. 

          Wait! I could feel my heart screaming over the insane thoughts in my head. If you kill Heero, Duo will never come back! And he'd probably find out you killed him and leave forever! Then you'd be trapped in the quiet. No...I..c..can't kill Heero! Yes! I must! NOO! Stop this quiet, just wait a little longer. Duo and Heero will come back! Tick tock! Must stop quiet! I go and turn on the radio and turn the volume up, then turn the TV on with volume all the way up. Tick Tock! Stupid clock. Noise, sound blares though out the mansion. I can barely here Wufei screaming,

          "Keep it down you weak onna!" Yes Wu-man yell, yell and scream! Trowa walks in turning off the TV and radio. I turn them back on. Trowa turn them off and grabs my hands. Sweet, Trowa, he was so kind. Wufei would just yell and scream. I like Wufei yelling and screaming, stops the quiet. Trowa stood there staring into my eyes. I knew he could see the war between my heart and my insane mind. 

          "Are you ok?" He asked. I stared and nodded and put up my kind hopeful cheerful mask. I couldn't let Trowa know I was going insane. Yes, my wonderful mask the mask that I use to hole my self up deep with in my quiet mind.

          "Yes. Yes, I'm fine." I said, lying so easily. No I'm not. I could feel my self screaming inside. I'd been using this mask for so long. I don't know how to take it off any more. I wanted out. I needed out. My mind was so quiet.

          "Are you sure?" Trowa asked continuing to look into my eyes. I looked away, I knew what happened when you stared into dead eyes to long. Yes, my eyes were dying. Trowa knew it too. He knew when you look into dead eyes long enough you were sucked in, locked away in the darkness and you become them same as them, a shell. 

          "Yes, Trowa. I'm perfectly fine." I lied. I hated lying to Trowa, partially because he knew I was lying. Trowa sighed and walked away.

          'Trowa, wait!' My mind called out.

          "Hm?" Trowa turned.

          "What is it?" He asked. 'Damn, just what I need to be saying stuff out loud.'

          "Quatre? Did you ever notice how quiet it is." Trowa whispered. Yes of course I have. The quiet surrounds you making you too scared to talk. I looked away, Trowa giving up was about to go to the kitchen when Wufei walked in.

          "What was all that noise, onna." Wufei growled. 

          "Nothing." I said flatly.

          "Why don't we go out to eat or something?" Trowa said suddenly. I looked at him a quizzical expression on my face. 

          "Hm..I could use a brake from my paperwork." Wufei murmured. Before I knew it we were dressed and Trowa was dragging a dazed me to the car. Trowa sped down the road in his Electric Green Mica MR2 Spyder. (((AN: Dude.....those are sweet.....i want a black or liquid silver one....*drool* See all I had to do was go to toyota.com and I found a car that suited Trowa! Trowa look at car: ///_^))) The wind tosseled my hair. 

          "So where d'ya guys wanna eat?" Trowa said. Wufei shrugged his shoulders.

          "Maybe we could go to a dance club too?" Trowa laughed.

          "Yeah right, Barton." Wufei muttered. We finally decided on a restaurant called Long Horns. (((A/N: mmmm long horns gooooood))) We were seated by a waitress named Tiffany. We ordered cokes and looked at the menu we all focused on one thing. Steak. (((A/N: mmmm steak goooooood Li: would you stop interrupting the fic already???? Kate: but steak goooooood.....))) Tiffany brought us a small loaf of bread and our appetizers. We had ordered chicken fingers, and buffalo strips. 

          "So what have you guys been doing?" I asked.

          "Just more paper work for the Preventors" Wufei groaned.

          "I've been working on observing the colonies and such...making new updated floor plans and the like." Trowa answered.

          As soon as we had finished our appetizers Tiffany showed up with our steaks.  We finished our meals and paid her a decent tip for she was excellent. We rode home and went about our business. I walked into the hanger and gazed up at Sandrock. I climbed into the cockpit, the door closed behind me and I sat in the darkness. I felt the familiar keys, I rubbed my hand over the button that turned on my gundam. Then I came to the self-detonation button. I rubbed my fingers over its smooth surface. Suddenly one of the screens blinked to life. I looked up wondering how it turned on. Then a vid-link came up and Duo's face appeared. 

          "What!? Duo!" I shouted.

          "Quatre? Heh, I was hoping you'd be in your gundam, strolling down memory lane?" Duo said smiling. I nodded and said,

          "You look like you're in a good mood." Duo nodded slightly and noticed my hand still on the self-detonation button, his smile fell.

          "Quat, you weren't gonna..." He said glaring daggers at me.

          "Huh? Oh, no! Of course not." I answered removing my hand from the button.

          "You sure???" Duo said dead serious, it was funny seeing Duo acting serious.

          "No Duo, my hand just fell across it and I just..you know getting a few flashbacks." I said sadly.

          "So, how you guys doing with out me??" Duo said his smile returning.

          "Fine..." I said hesitating.  Duo nodded leaning back in the seat of his gundam.

          "You don't sound so sure of yourself, Q. In case you haven't noticed we know when you're lying, the few times that you have." He laughed, I started getting nervous. "It's not like you lie all the time though....you rarely lie." He continued. I sighed inwardly, the fool I've been wearing this mask longer then you think..

          "You found Heero yet? And why you calling me in your gundam." I asked. Duo opened one violet eye, then the other and sat back up.

          "Nope, but I'm close I can feel it. And well I had no other way to contact you all so I was hoping one of you might be in you gundams." He said yawning.

          "Well I better be going. Oh wait! How's Wu-man still doing?.......He still mad at me." Duo asked hesitantly.

          "Well he was pretty mad when he found out you left, but I think he's been to busy with paperwork to still be mad at you." I said chuckling at the nickname Duo had given Wufei.

          "Well tell the others I said hi. C'ya" Duo said and closed the link. Quatre sighed smiling and closed his eyes.


	5. What's My Heart Telling Me

**Chapter 4**

**What's My Heart Telling Me?**

          Duo sighed and jumped out of his gundam. In the last week he had gotten an apartment and began his search for Heero. He knew he was close, but had no leads. He walked through the artificial forest, that's when he heard the voices. Duo froze and hid behind some bushes. He saw an older man standing in an Oz uniform, there was a younger boy with him. Duo could tell one was a lieutenant and the other a private. He listened in on there conversation.

          "Sir, is it true what I've been hearing? That you were to capture the pilot?" The private asked. The older Lt. nodded.

          "Yes. The fool thought his mission was over and wasn't paying attention. It was an easy catch. Perfect soldier, HA! Heero Yuy was an easy catch." The Lt laughed. Duo's eyes grew wide. 'Heero....caught....by oz!? No way! That's impossible!' He continued listening.

          "That guard ain't helping though....He still ain't talking. I don't think the guards beating the crap out of him hard enough!" The Lt. Sighed. Duo's eyes grew even wider and his hand clinched into a fist, his throat was tight and his teeth clinched. 'He looked at his hands, the slightest trickle of blood ran down his hands. 'What's going on with me? Why do I feel this way?' 

            "We'll be needing a new guard soon." The Lt. said. Duo quietly slipped away after they ended the conversation and found their base. He stole an Oz uniform then entered the base. 'God, I wish I had Trowa's skills....'

          "I've been sent to guard the 01 pilot." He said firmly to the Lt.

          "Who sent you?" The Lt asked. Duo could now read the tag and found his name was Lt. Rus.

          "That is classified information." Duo said. Lt. Rus sighed and finally nodded.

          "We've been needing a new guard." Lt. Rus murmured to himself.

          "Fine. The current guards being suspended." Lt. Rus said firmly. Duo tried to hide his smile. Lt. Rus walked with Duo to Heero's cell. Lt. Rus turned to the current guard and he snapped to attention his hand in a firm solute.

          "You've been suspended." Lt. Rus said getting strait to the point. The guard's expression changed immediately. He nodded and handed Duo the keys to the cell. Duo stood next to the door taking the guards place, the current guard walked away. Duo knew he'd be back.

          "I'll explain in more detail how the prisoner is to be treated." Lt. Rus said and walked away. After a couple hours the lights went off and all soldiers who weren't on guard went to sleep. Duo waited another hour then pulled the keys and a flashlight from his belt. He checked for cameras and was glad to find none. He unlocked then opened the door. Heero groaned quietly as the door opened. He hissed as the bright flashlight shined in his face. He could hear a sudden intake of breath which surprised him. Duo stared jaw dropped at the frail, beaten boy. He almost couldn't believe that was Heero. Heero stared questioningly at the guard, it was a new one. He was shorter and looked about his age. He barely noted the outline of a something very very long. Duo leaned forward and whispered,

          "H..Heero?"  Heero's eyes grew wide.

          "Duo!?" Heero said softly, for his throat was parched. Duo ran over to the boy's body and examined his wounds.

          "What the hell did they do to you!" He said in a shouted whisper not wanting anyone to hear.

          "What do you think" Heero said in his usual tone of voice though it was raspy. Duo could tell the Heero was starved.

          "When was the last time the fed you!" Duo said worried.

          "A weak ago...and I haven't had water for the last two days" Heero sighed. At that Duo ripped the water canteen from his belt and twirled the cap off. Heero smiled weakly as Duo held the canteen to his lips and he opened his mouth. Duo poured the cool water into Heero's mouth, he then glanced around making sure there were no cameras. Heero swallowed after letting the water sit in his mouth  little, swishing it around.

          "There aren't any... I've checked thoroughly." Heero whispered.

          "I don't have any food, but I could sneak off to the kitchens and get some." Duo said kindly to him. Heero pulled himself up and leaned against the wall, holding the small canteen. 

          "How'd you get in here?" Heero finally said.

          "Heh, Used Trowa's technique, stole an Oz uniform and said I was a replacement guard." Duo smiled.

          "You're the guard... for _my_ cell???" Heero asked shocked. Duo nodded and he notices Heero relax a little.

          "I was gonna get you outta here, but I gotta wait for the right moment. I'll try and make that soon, I'll get you outta this hellhole." Duo said determined. Heero took another gulp from the canteen, wiped his mouth with his hand, he nodded. Duo gripped Heero's chin in his hand and looked at his face. Heero stared at the gesture not knowing how to react and not really caring, when Duo let go Heero finished the water and handed it back to him, whispering,

          "You'd better go, before someone finds you." Duo nodded and placed the canteen on his belt. "And, Thanks." Heero added and Duo turned around to look at him. "And, don't screw up." Heero also tagged on, Duo sighed and shook his head. "I finally get a simple thanks from and you just have to tag on 'don't screw up' Sheesh.." He closed the door, Heero lied down and fell asleep the slightest grin on his face. The next day Duo pulled open Heero door. He wasn't very cheerful though.

          "Hey..."He muttered.

          "I gotta take you to him...Lt Rus..." Duo whispered. Heero stood strait up and walked out the door.

          "Hurry up...You're supposed to hold me so I try and make a 'run for it'" Heero said. Duo stared.

          "I feel a lot better, I can take a little of Rusty's torture sessions." Heero said. Duo walked over and gently held Heero, but made it look ruff. He pushed Heero into Rus's office. Lt Rus handed Duo a long pole with prongs on the end. Duo stared at it.

          "Ok, Here's how it's going to go. I ask a question. You answer. If you don't, Dan here will zap you." Rus sighed getting annoyed. Heero glanced at the nametag on Duo's shirt which read, 'Dan Matthews'. Duo glanced at him nervously, Heero gave the slightest nod and Rus's little game began.

          "Oh, and put it on high power." Rus said. Duo reluctantly placed it on high. Finally Rus gave up and the session was over. Duo partially left the door open and helped Heero down. Duo pulled out a couple slices of bread and an apple. Heero sighed and chewed carefully. Duo leaned in and gently hugged Heero. Heero normally would've pushed Duo away but didn't. Duo walked out and closed the door quietly. 

          Meanwhile, the old guard James Greene stood in the shadows. 'I'll get my revenge' He hissed. During the night James silently approached Duo. He jumped in front of him and slammed his fist into Duo's stomach. Duo gasped for air and collapsed. James grabbed the keys and opened the door throwing Duo to the ground. Heero looked up but his slight grin was wiped from his face almost instantly. James walked over to Heero and stood him up. He suddenly kissed him. Heero eyes grew wide with shock. James forced his tongue into Heero's mouth. He worked his hands down then yanked Heero's pants and underwear off, then forced him to the ground. Heero began flailing and tried to scream but couldn't. His face contorted into pain as he felt some way to large and was never meant to be there entered his butt. Heero twitched as a surge went up through his body. It overwhelmed him. He was trained for many things but not for this. Duo groaned and lifted himself up. He held his head with one hand and waited for his vision to clear.  He heard a moan of agony. Duo looked at Heero, he felt a surge of anger boil in his body. He ran at the previous guard and slammed into him. Duo kicked the guard off Heero and hissed,

          "Bastard......" Duo slammed him against the wall and began punching him repeatedly. The second the guard was off him Heero pulled his pants up crawled over to the corner he went as far back as he could. He shuddered pulling his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He stared at the other side of the cell as if Duo and the guard weren't there. He wasn't staring at anything really just the point of space between his eyes and the wall. Duo continued punching the guard. He wouldn't stop, he couldn't control himself. Finally after almost half an hour of nonstop punching, Duo's anger subsided and he stopped. The guard slid to the floor coughing up blood and lay their probably dying. He then looked at Heero huddled in the corner.

          "C'mon we're outta this hellhole..." He said. Heero didn't move. Heero looked at Duo and whispered,

          "Leave me...let them kill me... I don't care anymore."

          "I.. I can't" Duo said slowly.

          "Duo. I'm already dead. I've made a deal with the shinigami far too long."

          "Heh. Well, If you really are shinigami go ahead a take me down to hell."

          "Why won't you grant my wish shinigami...just do it shinigami...kill me..." Heero said staring right at Duo.

          "Heero.." Duo murmured. He'd never seen Heero like this before. Heero was no longer Heero. He looked right into his eyes, those wonderful Prussian orbs full of life, sure often they were cold, but they held _life_ in them. Those eyes were gone, they held nothing. Duo was lost in his thoughts, he barely heard Heero whisper,

          "Fine then shinigami if you won't grant my wish I'll do it myself." Duo snapped back into reality as Heero lunged forward. Heero ripped the gun from Duo's belt and returned to the corner. He held the gun at temple. Duo's eyes grew wide,

          "Heero don't! Don't do it."

          "Why not shinigami?" Heero said releasing the safety. 

          "I'm not shinigami!!!!" Duo shouted, his voice and eyes filled with fear. Quick as a whip Duo lunged forward and pressed two spots on the back of Heero's neck. Heero in surprise had pressed the trigger. Duo backed away staring at Heero. He noticed the slightest trickle of blood, then felt the surging pain in his arm. He smiled Heero had missed for the first time ever. The bullet had hit Duo's arm instead. He knew the gun shot would cause commotion so he scooped up Heero and ran. Duo luckily hit the right spots causing Heero to become unconscious. Duo checked for a pulse just in case and was glad Heero was still alive. He'd help Heero through this. Duo was the only one who knew how to help him. He shoved back memories of that one night on the street. No one else knew how to help Heero, only Duo, because he knew exactly what he was feeling. Duo knew, because he had been raped that one night so long ago. He shoved back tears in the memory. He wasn't going to let them get in his way. He had recovered. Or had he? Sometimes during his mission he could see the face of that bastard that had violated him. 

          He then looked at Heero's limp body. He smiled and made it out of the base before the Oz soldiers were able to attack. He ran to his apartment. He ran up the stairs panting and pulled out his keys. He laid Heero on the couch then ran into his room and changed into his regular preachers outfit. He grabbed the name tag and thought of a way to destroy it. He had to destroy all evidence. Duo grabbed a knife and began scraping off the name. When he was successful he grabbed the Oz uniform and ripped it to tiny shreds. He then placed them in a bag and burned them. He walked to the window and threw the ashes outside. He sighed and sat down at the computer, he sort of stole. He hacked Oz and deleted all file on "Dan Matthews". Basically, the man never existed.

          He looked at Heero. 'The perfect soldier, the perfect student, the perfect angel.' He stared surprised at the thought. 'What is going on?? What is my heart trying to tell me' Deep down he knew the answer. 'I'm in love with Heero Yuy.' What!? That's ridiculous. His mind began to argue with his heart. I can't love Heero, he's my best friend. Don't hide it you know you love him. I can't love him, not after what happened. Duo stood, walked over and sat next to Heero. He bent over, kissed Heero's forehead and whispered,

          "I love you Heero Yuy." He sat back and pressed the two spots on the back of Heero's neck. Heero's eyes blinked at the light.

          "Where am I? What time is it, how long have I been here?" Heero asked Duo.

          "My temporary apartment. About 3 in the mourning, and you've been here for about an hour." Duo answered. He felt kind of awkward around Heero. Heero slowly sat up and Duo handed him a glass of water.

          "Where's the Wing Zero?" Duo asked.

          "In the forest why do you ask?" Heero said.

          "We're heading to earth today. We can't stay here... Heero are you going to be ok." Duo asked his voice etched with concern.

          "Hn."

          "I figured that. Look, Heero. I can help you, you have got to trust me. I know exactly what you're going through....please, let me help." Duo pleaded. Heero looked away.

          "Oh, fine... You can sleep on the couch... I'll wake you when it's time to go." Duo sighed walking away.

          "Duo, wait! Where are you going!?!?" Heero suddenly burst out.

          "Huh? I gotta go load our gundams on a carrier." Duo said surprised by Heero's sudden outburst. Heero regained control and nodded lying down. Duo went and sat next to him. Duo watched over Heero until he fell asleep. Duo walked to the vidphone and called Quatre. Quatre answered half asleep.

          "Duo, whatsa it's 4:30 in the mourning?" 

          "Quatre, I found him, but..." Duo trailed up.

          "You did!? What happened?" Quatre asked wide awake now. Duo explained about the soldiers in the forest and how he used Trowa's technique. Duo then told him that they were returning to earth in a few hours.

          "But, we weren't going to return this early. I had to get a carrier and load our gundams then help Heero escape. But that stupid guard screwed everything." Duo sighed.

          "What happened?" 

          "When we get back home, tell the others to lay off Heero. He's been through the worst thing that could ever happen to someone." Duo said looking away and towards the couch.

          "Duo, what.. What happened." Quatre asked with worry and concern.

          "It couldn't have been that bad..." Quatre whispered. Duo looked back at the screen an icy glare on his face.

          "That damn bastard went and raped my Heero!!!!" Duo suddenly shouted, but not loud enough to wake Heero. As he realized what he said he heard Quatre gasp. 'My Heero? Since when have I called him mine...'

          "You love him don't you...." Quatre said slowly noticing how Duo had said 'my Heero'. Duo looked away. The slightest grin appeared on Quatre's face.

          "You do love him, I could see it in your eyes. I guess Trowa and I were right. We started think that when you got all depressed when he didn't contact you." Quatre said. Duo looked back towards Heero.

          "Where is he?"

          "On the couch over there." Duo sighed.

          "Like I said, don't mess with Heero to much....Trust me it hurts like hell and scares, and freaks the life out of you. You feel...dead...you've just been violated.  There's no more point in living.......any more.." Duo trailed off.  
          "Oh..Duo. I'm sorry.." Quatre whispered realizing how Duo knew what it was like. He realized it had happened to Duo.

          "Ah It's ok. I grew and learned from it. I got over it. Thanks to friends." Duo smiled.

          "And I swear.... I'll help Heero every way possible.."

~Authors Notes~

          Ok! The entire plot for this fic just changed directions and began forming for me!!! I didn't plan on the rape....but the plot just formed. I began typing and it all just came out.  Wow....this was one looooooooooong chapter 6 ½ pages. But this is where it all unravels...I SWARE this wasn't how I planed it....when I started writing I had no clue where this was going....PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEEEEEEEEEASE REVIEW!

          Ohmigosh!!!!! Is did angsty??????? *stares at fic* Well...is it....*stares at reader...ie you the person reading these words at this very minute...* IS IT ANGTY?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I don't know if it is....I never wrote angst before...*blinks* PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE TELL ME IF IT'S ANGSTY!?!?!? *pops out of readers computer, grabs readers shoulders and shakes them back and forth while screaming* IS IT ANGSTY!?!?!?! *calms down* *goes back in comp.* 

If you haven't noticed by now, the pairing is 1x2/2x1. Is their a difference between the two??? Someone please tell me via review or e-mail if there is a difference between 1x2 and 2x1

Ok well I'm working on chapter 5 and I'm stuck. *glares at writers block* I've never known anyone who was raped, so the reaction is based on TV and other books/fanfics. **No, I'm not copying anybody! This plot is orginal and is copyright by me! ©2002 Anyways, if you have any suggestion please send them via e-mail or review. My e-mail address is KRG2000@prodigy.net **

Note: Chapter 5 at the moment is called 'Helping Heero' But there's a 70% chance that will change.

Final Note: I'm won't be working on any of my fanfics for the week of June 3 – June 6 or 7. I will be on a cruise so I hope to find some reviews when I come back!!! ^_^

And the last comments before I end this ever-so-long authors note. Please Review!! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. If you want the next chapter I expect 5-10 reviews. C'mon people! You have an entire week! Get in those reviews. Also if you really wanna motivate me e-mail me at KRG2000@prodigy.net

Luv, Hope, & Peace 4eva,

~Kate~


	6. Helping Heero

**Of Love and Learning**

**By: Sailor Aurora Helios**

****

**Chapter 5**

**       Helping Heero**

          Duo quietly snuck off into the artificial forest. He stole a carrier and loaded Deathscythe on and began to search for the Zero. He found after about half an hour of searching. He quickly returned and woke Heero.

          "Heero, C'mon It's time to go." Duo whispered. Heero woke mumbling something and got off the couch. Duo led Heero to the carrier and hopped in the cockpit, Heero at his side.

          "Hang on tight! We're gonna liven things up!" Duo smiled as the carrier took off. He headed strait for the way out and they flew to earth, it would take about 24 hours to get there, unless Oz tried to shoot them down. It was a long boring trip, especially with Heero so quiet. He looked over at him. Heero just stared ahead. 'God, this is gonna be hard' He thought, finally Heero fell asleep and Duo kept close watch over him. They arrived on earth at a large mansion safe house. Quatre was there to greet them.

          "Duo! Heero!" Quatre said happily, He ran over and hugged Duo.

          "Hey, Heero, how are you doing?" Quatre asked.

          "Hn.." Heero brushed past them and walked inside and up to his room, closing the door. Duo sighed and looked at Quatre.

          "It wouldn't be so hard if he hadn't had that training...But then again if he didn't have that training it would have never happened" Duo said to Quatre. Quatre nodded his understanding. Duo walked in and up the stairs, knocking on Heero's door he said,

          "Heero, may I come in." When he heard no reply he opened the door and walked in. Heero was breaking down again.

          "Oh Hello, Shinigami? Come to take me down to hell?" Heero said trying his best to hold onto his icy glare. Duo sighed and sat on Heero's bed. He hated when Heero acted like this.

          "Heero, I'm not shinigami and I'm not going to kill you..." Duo said.

          "Yes you are. You always claim to be shinigami. So just grant my wish and take me down to hell....I..it's nothing compared to this.."

          "Oh, Heero. Let me help you. I know how it feels." Duo pleaded again. Heero looked at him, his glare gone, Duo saw his eyes were dying and it hurt so badly. 

          "Then kill me shinigami.....please...I..I'm begging you." Heero said holding back tears. Duo couldn't take it anymore.

          "Heero stop it! J..Just Stop it! I'm not going to do it! Ok!?" He shouted raising his hand as if to slap Heero. Heero looked at him fear in his eyes.

          "P..please....I'm sorry....I won't do it again shin... I mean Duo." Heero said in a small squeak backing away,

          "Oh god, Heero I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. I wasn't going to hurt you. I l..." Duo stopped himself from saying to much. He walked over to Heero and stroked the boys arm. He took a small step forward and gave Heero a quick small hug. Heero nodded and climbed under the covers and whispered,

          "Don't leave me....ever." He slowly fell asleep under Duo's watchful eye. The next day at lunch Duo called up to Heero's room from the kitchen.

          "Heero, could you come down here. I need some help." Heero bounded down the stares.

          "Yeah sh.. Duo."

          "Here I need you to chop these vegetables. Now look you hold them like this and slowly make small chops. Ok. You keep your hand far away from the blade." Duo instructed and Heero nodded like a child. He did what Duo told him and chopped them.

          "Now be very very very careful. I've got to get come spices and stuff out of the storage room" Heero nodded and Duo walked away. Heero chopped the vegetables but accidentally made a tiny cut on his finger. He looked at the crimson sticky liquid, with amazement. It stung ever so slightly, but he barely noticed. He pulled his hands away from the vegetables. He placed the blade against his wrist. Before he could hesitate to think about Duo, Heero pushed down on the knife and pulled it along his wrist, slicing the skin and letting the sticky blood ooze out and over the floor. It flowed like a river and pooled around his feet. He stared at it almost hypnotized. Duo walked in holding quite a few bottles of spices. He looked at Heero then at the blood. 

          "Heero!" He shouted grabbing a towel and ran at him, the spices clattering to floor completely forgotten. Duo pressed the towel firmly on Heero's wrist to stop the bleeding and looked at him and into his eyes.

          "Please tell me you didn't do it on purpose." Duo whispered.

          "Uhm...I accidentally cut my finger and it felt kinda nice like relief." Heero whispered. Duo stared at him fear in his eyes. Heero looked around and everything became foggy.

          "I was having a moment of relief and you took it away......" Heero whispered.

          "Quatre!!! Call the hospital!!!" Duo shouted as Heero passed out. Trowa walked in saying,

          "Quatre's not he-" Trowa stopped seeing the scene in the kitchen. "Oh shit!" Trowa ran out and grabbed the phone hitting 9-1-1. The ambulance arrived quickly. Duo stood pacing around the waiting room.

          "GOD! How long does it take to tell us how someone is doing!" Duo shouted exasperated.

          "Duo, calm down." Trowa said.

          "He'll be fine. He survived when he self detonated the Zero remember?" Wufei said. A doctor came out and headed towards the group.

          "How is he!"  Duo shouted.

          "Hello My name is Dr. Bell, I presume you three were in company of Mr. Heero Yuy?"

          "Yes and I don't really care who you are! How is Heero doing!?!?!" Duo shouted agitated. Trowa places a hand on his shoulder and gave him a warning glace.

"He's ok, but he's lost a lot of blood. He'll need a blood transfusion." The doctor said gravely. Duo looked somewhat relieved.

          "But...." Duo glared. 'There always had to be a 'but' doesn't there.' He thought.

          "He has a rare blood type...AB Negative." The doctor said slowly. ((A/N: OK I know nothing about blood types and what's rare or not...so if AB is common tell me and I'll fix it)) Duo looked up. He knew Heero and Him had the same blood type. Quatre arrived after reading the note. He looked worriedly.

          "I'll do it." Duo said.

          "What?"  Dr. Bell and the others said looking at me.

          "I'll donate the blood. Heero and I have the same blood type..." Duo said his hands shaking.

          (((A/N: YAAAAAAAY!!!! Page TWENTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances around* Made it to page twen-TY made it to page twen-TY made it to page twen-TY!!!!!!!!!! *finish her happy dance* I would like to thank all the little people out there that helped me with the ideas for this fic....Uhm....that would be my best friend IRL Michelle...*goes on making a speech about this fic for like.....10 days* Again thank you to all the people that supported me *cough*unlike*cough*Courtney*cough* Now on with the fic!)))                                  {When I say page twenty...I mean this is twenty pages long.....with original font and size and stuff......well...it is on my word processor}

"But, sir."

          "Duo?"

          "We might have some from the blood bank. Because the amount of blood he has lost, sir is too much for one person to donate." Dr. Bell said quietly. Duo sighed and looked away.

          "Can we see Heero now?" Duo said impatiently. Dr. Bell nodded and led them to Heero's room. Duo stared at Heero in disbelief, he was deafly pale. They stayed and talked to his unconscious body. Duo said nothing. That wasn't Heero. Just a shell. An empty shell. Heero was gone. Dr. Bell left to lets have 'a few minutes alone'. Shortly after Duo left.

          "Duo!" Quatre called.

          "That's not my Heero." Duo said coldly.

          "If donating blood will bring the Heero _I_ know, then I'll do it. If not..." Duo trailed off. Dr. Bell nodded after hearing Duo.

          "Then come with me." Duo followed and lied down and the stuck a needle and with drew his blood. They had just enough to combine Duo's blood with the blood from the blood bank and it wouldn't hurt Duo by taking too much. Duo ate some sugar cookies and was resting when the doctor approached him.

          "Uhm, sir. Do you have any idea why Mr. Yuy would try and commit suicide" Dr. Bell asked kindly. Duo looked away sadly. Duo slowly whispered to himself,

          "I'm the one that should be killed. I'm the one that should die....."

          "Why is that?"

          "Because it's all my fault!!!!!!!" Duo shouted suddenly, his eyes becoming watery.

          "Do you know _why_ Mr. Yuy tried to kill himself, Duo." Dr. Bell  asked again.

          "Maybe I do...."

          "Why, Duo. We need to know. Why did Mr. Yuy try to commit suicide." Duo looked up angrily.

          "Because he was fuckin raped damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Duo shouted. Dr. Bell sighed. 

          "A..a..and it's all my fault" Duo whispered.

          "Why is it your fault?? How could it be your fault unless....you raped him or helped the person rape him.

          "No.... It's my fault because I could of stopped the damn bastard!!!! If I had been paying attention I would of heard him and he wouldn't have knocked me out and I could of stopped him from hurting Heero!!" Duo said suddenly.

          "I see... Well we'll need to get DNA...--" "He's dead... When I awoke and saw him raping Heero and kicked him off and beat the lights out of him...." The doctor nodded.

          "When he's better you may take him home." Duo nodded looking away. Three days later they took Heero home. He had finally awakened. Heero shudder when he awoke. He looked around and realized he wasn't in the hospital any more. Duo walked in yawning.

          "Hey, Hee-chan!" He smiled. Heero smiled at the silly nickname Duo had given him not long after they met.

          "How do ya feel? Hmm....You look feverish...Sit still lemmie see." Duo placed the back of his hand against Heero forehead.

          "Hmm..." Duo left then returned with a thermometer. He handed Heero the thermometer but Heero pursed his lips shaking his head like a child.

          "It's not medicine....It just a thermometer now hurry up so we can get you something to eat." Duo answered Heero childish act. Heero gave in and put the thermometer in his mouth. Duo checked it.

          "Hmmm you have a fever. How do you feel?" Duo asked 

"Fine, shin...err Duo" Heero said.

"Mmm Want chicken noodle soup?" Duo said cheerfully. Heero nodded and as Duo was about to leave the room Heero jumped up and tackled him.

"Rrrrrrar!!!!" Heero growled then giggled. Duo laughed and flipped over. He got an advantage and pushed Heero to the ground. Duo smiled as he pinned him.

"Got you!" Duo smiled, but his smile fell as he felt Heero's body tense. Heero growled, shifted his wait, and threw Duo off him. Duo flew back onto the bed. Heero was up and rose his arm for a punch.

"Holy!" Duo shouted as he rolled over. Heero growled and continued his attack on Duo. Heero managed to get a punch or two.

"Heero!! Heero it's me!! Heero!!!" Duo shouted, but Heero continued his rage. Duo tried to block Heero's attacks but it was too fierce. Heero shot a fist at his head and while Duo moved his hands to block it, Heero slammed his free hand into Duo's stomach forcing the air from his lungs. Duo doubled over gasping for air. He fell to his knees and fought off the darkness trying to take over as his vision blurred. At that moment Wufei walked into see what was going on.

"What are you stupid onnas do—Holy Shit! Heero!!" Wufei shouted.

"Heero what happened!?!? Heero!?!?" Wufei said checking the braided boy for a pulse. Wufei then looked at Heero. The Japanese pilot just glared. Duo groaned and shook his head. Blinking his eyes, he tried to clear his vision.

"Duo are you ok?" Wufei asked his voice had the slightest waver of concern.

"ugh…*groan* what do you think Wu-man??" Duo moaned pulling himself to a sitting position. Wufei turned back to Heero glaring a flame grew in his eyes.

"What the hell was that about Yuy!?!?" Wufei shouted. Duo was trying to figure that out to. What had caused the sudden change in the boys behavior. Duo quickly replayed the event in his mind. He then remembered how he had pinned down Heero and he couldn't get loose. The image clicked. He felt threatened. He had been pinned down in the cell. Duo looked up at Wufei and Heero.

"What caused you to have to nearly kill Duo!?!?!?!? Sure he can be annoying sometime but that was just to damn far!!!!!!!!!!!" Wufei shouted. Duo looked up Wufei had actually said his name instead of the usual Maxwell.

"Damnit Yuy I want an answer!!!!!" Wufei shouted getting even more pissed off.

"Wufei it's my fault!!" Duo shouted noticing the slight change in Heero. Wufei turned to look at him. He rose an eyebrow questioningly at Duo. Duo sighed and said,

"We were goofing off and I went a little too far ok?" Wufei just looked at him wondering what he meant exactly by 'a little too far'.

"Fine then… Maxwell..be careful.." Wufei finally answered and walked out. Quatre and Trowa stood in the door way coming after hearing Wufei's shouting.

"Duo…" Quatre whispered staring at the beaten boy.

"I'm fine Q, fine!" Duo insisted but shot Quatre a look that said 'I'll talk to you later'. Quatre nodded shutting the door. Duo turned to Heero was now on the bed staring at him.

"Heero.." Duo whispered.

"I'm sorry! I really am sorry! I didn't mean to! Please don't be mad at me! Please don't hurt me!!" Heero said suddenly acting in a way he had never acted before. He was acting like a scared young child. A child afraid of his parents. Duo sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, Heero withdrew and scooted back a little.

"Heero…You should know by now. I'm not your mother. Do you remember before your training with Dr. J. How you were new to our school and you told me. I was and still am your best friend." Duo said slowly looking at his friend. 'Oh my angel…I love you so much, please don't me afraid of me..' Duo pleaded in his thoughts.

"Heero, don't be afraid of me, I won't hurt you. You know I won't hurt you." Duo whispered.

"I know that…I think Heero knows that..but I don't think he knows that.."

"W..what? What do you mean about Heero and some other person you are Heero." Duo said slightly confused.

"I'm not Heero. Well..I guess I am. OH I don't know! I'm only six!" Heero sighed. Duo blinked.

"So what's you name… if your not Heero…" Duo said slowly.

"Some people call me Odin Lowe Jr. others call me Heero the name my mommy called me" Heero said in a childish voice.

"Ok so…If your… not Heero…" Duo said trying to comprehend what the 01 pilot was saying.

"This is all I know. Something bad happened to Heero Yuy and he brought me and the other person to help him. I don't know what exactly happened. Heero won't tell me. He wants us to help him decide who is good and who is bad… sorta… He talks about you a lot. Are you the boy who calls himself the god of death?" The boy explained. Duo nodded slightly at the question. Heero's eyes turned dark.

"I think your mean!" Heero hissed.

"W..what!?!?" Duo said getting nervous.

"Heero told me that he asked you to do him a favor and you wouldn't! How could you be so mean! Heero's never asked you to do anything for him before and dose stuff for you! So why can't you just grant him one little thing!!!! You..you..mean person!!!" Heero shouted.

"He wanted me to kill him!" Duo said back not wanting to think about that side of Heero.

"N…n…nani?" The Japanese pilot said shocked.

"You heard me. Heero was begging for me to kill him!" Duo said.

"Oh… I'm sorry. Heero doesn't tell me a lot of stuff. And anything he does tell me isn't very detailed." Duo was about to say something when Heero blinked and looked around.

"What's…..going on?" He said in his usually monotone.

"H…Heero?" Duo said slowly.

"Hn."

" Hee-Chan!!!" Duo smiled.

"I told you if you called me that one more time….baka…Omae O Korosu!" Heero muttered glaring at the American pilot. He was then wrapped in a bear hug. Heero froze. 'What's…happening…too close…..must kill Duo…must.. kill… I… I'm losing control' The thoughts ran through his mind as he eyes flickered. He pushed Duo away and stood walking to his laptop. Duo walked out to find Quatre waiting. They walked into a room not to faraway and closed the door.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Quatre asked. The room was some what a conference room, but not. There was a table and chairs and a filing cabinet. The room used to be pretty plane until Quatre had a rug, couch, large comfy chairs and a coffee table. Duo sat in a chair after he turned it around backwards. He stared ahead then nodded slightly.

"It's about Heero. He's got like these split personalities. We have normal Heero… defensive Heero and well, like the kid he was before Dr. J" Quatre nodded.

"I'm guessing, the two personalities have to do with two event that took place in his life, one in his past, the other not too long ago." Quatre.

"So… what are we going to do?" Duo asked looking at Quatre.

~Authors~Notes~

I'm sooooooooo sorry this took so long to get out. I have sorta half an excuse… I was on a cruise for a week and not able to work on it AND FF.NET IS DOWN .

I have writers block…… *sniffles* I just realized that the plot for this fic is dead. That's sort of why I've been avoiding working on this. It's not going anywhere…*sigh*  And so that is why you might not see another chapter for a loooong time unless something inspires me. Another problem is I have never been raped (thank the lord) or known anyone who was raped. So basically I have absolutely no clue how people handle rape and help rape victims. 

Well uhm.. maybe it'll help if I explain how this fic came to mind. I was reading a lot of angst fics on ff.net cause at the time most of the stuff written was angst. So I started wondering, How come it's always Duo and Quatre that get raped? I haven't seen one fic so far that has Heero, Trowa or Wufei raped. Why Duo and Quatre? Just because they seem the weakest? That's not good a good answer. Heero or Trowa or Wufei could have been put to sleep and raped and stuff… there's tons of possibilities. And so like always, the second I get an idea I write. I went into this completely blind. And that's how this fic came to exist.

Like I said… I do not know if there will be another chapter. Until I figure out a plot… Ja ne. 

"Spring can only come…. once everything dies." ~ Tejina

"Not the shadows, Ash. The light." ~ Misty from Pokemon Masters.

- Tejina


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